Crazed Pooping Monkeys

Hubby and I were driving in the car the other day with all the kiddos while trying to hold down a conversation amid all the random shrieking and howling from the backseat. People without kids have no idea what they're missing, we mused aloud.

It was then that I thought of the perfect way to give them some practice. Everyone contemplating having children should buy a very large, loud bird that will perch on their shoulder day and night. Then, they must go about their daily business while enduring the incessant squawking in their ear and pecking at their head.

Hubby concurred, but replied that he felt a monkey would be a better representation.

I have to say that after some thought I have to agree, for two reasons. One, a monkey will periodically jump down just long enough to completely trash your house, and two, it can be pretty much guaranteed that it will poop on your floor at least once.

39 years old. Where I stand.

There's nothing like the 39th birthday to really send the message home that you're getting old. Well, here I am. 39. One year left until I'm officially in my forties. Wow. What a trip.

I don't know, I don't really mind too much. I actually like getting older in a way. I look back at my twenties and think "wow , was I dumb!" Hell, I was pretty stupid in my thirties too if I want to be honest about it. 

I just read a quote from Muhammed Ali, I believe. He said "Someone who thinks the same at 50 as he did at 20 has just wasted thirty years of his life." So true. 

I've made many mistakes. I have lots of regrets. Lots. But I truly believe that you learn from your mistakes more than your successes. I am who I am today because of my past. And ultimately, I really like who I am. Does that mean that if I had the chance I wouldn't change a thing? No. I would. There are a few things that I desperately wish I could change, even though they are probably the things I learned the most from. But what can you do? You grow older. You grow wiser. You realize that there are lots of things in life that you have yet to learn, but also, that there are some things that without a doubt you are sure of.

So without further ado, 

I am 39 years old. And this is where I stand:

• What goes around comes around.
• The only thing better than a sleeping baby curled up on your chest is when you get to nap too.
• If Heaven has a smell, it must be that of an orange tree in bloom.
• I am blessed to live in the best country on the planet. And those that put their lives on the line to defend our freedoms are better people than I will ever be.
• There is absolutely a God, and I have seen him at least three times.
• Killing is killing-whether it's an old man, a baby yet to be born, or a death row inmate; or whether it's carried out by a thug in the street, a doctor in a clinic or a court of law.
• Motherhood is hands down the hardest job I have ever had. And still I would not trade it for anything.
• Birth is safest when it is not messed with.
• A day that begins and ends with me lying next to my husband and little ones is a great one.
• Breastmilk is not just "best" but is the normal and natural food for a human. And my child has a right to eat the food that is designed for her without having to hide in the bathroom or under a blanket.
• No one should have the right to remove or alter another person's genitals without their consent. No one. Not even parents.
• When in doubt, love MORE.
• Stairs and I just do not get along.
• There is no better sound on Earth than your baby's first giggles.
• I will never be as good of a wife or mom as I want to be. But, I will wake up to each new day trying.
• Even though I don't have all of the answers, that doesn't mean that I don't have some of them.